As a devoted journalist, I feel it’s my job to report on the news that the mainstream press is too scared to write about, man. So here are some facts that the MAN doesn’t want you know about White Power.

1) White power was originally a slogan for a toilet bowl cleaner campaign in ancient Babylon, and was immediately seized by those damn kids.

2) Much like the biblical mistranslation of “young woman” as “virgin,” Hitler’s Mein Kampf was also the victim of several mistranslations, including “Fat Chicks” to “Jews,” “Bro’s” to “Master Race,” and of course “Funny hat fridays” to “Economic and military recovery of Germany.”

3) White people suffer from a massive inferiority complex, and compensate by making things up and saying they invented them, like Blood Transfusions, The Internet, and Folk Dancing.

4) The reason Neo-Nazis shave their head is to more closely emulate the White Power mascot, the Beluga Whale. Not many people know it, but over 98% of the money acquired by all white people is to replace their own broken, disgusting bodies with that of a beluga whale.

5) All white people are racists, they just won’t admit it in public, private, or to the lunatic screaming that the jew is trying to steal his heritage.

6) White people often try to associate with Italians, because they live west of the Caucus Mountain range, while in fact Italians are descendants of  Halle Berry and Sean Connery, in the sexiest time traveling accident EVAR.

In short, The good news is that there are now anti-white news sources out there to help combat the spread of pro-Caucasian propaganda. The bad news is that it doesn’t matter, because the Chinese will have you by the balls in about five years.